I read a lot of speculative fiction, both science fiction and fantasy. I especially enjoy the world-building and exploration of possible and impossible worlds in fantasy. One element that intrigues me is the approach various authors take to deity. 

Not surprisingly, many authors avoid the concept entirely. A few, like C.S. Lewis, take an allegorical approach. Among those who include gods in their creation, many determine the power of each god by the number and fervor of their worshippers.

I’ve not seen an actual religion that claims to believe that, but I have seen people who act as if they believe it, as if they are doing a favor for God (or other gods) by their worship. I’ve seen concern over gaining new believers, or at least new church members, that seems to be focused not on the benefit to the people who need God, but somehow on the benefit to the church or even God himself. 

Newsflash: God deserves our worship and wants it, but he doesn’t need it. His power is not impacted by our numbers or by our behavior. We see that in 1 Kings 18 when Elijah confronts the 450 prophets of Baal before the people of Israel, who apparently can’t decide who they want to worship. Elijah’s faith is pretty strong, but Baal’s prophets are also fervent and throw themselves into their worship with enthusiasm. But what matters in the story is that God is the one with all the power, not the people, the 450 prophets, or even Elijah.

Other approaches to understanding deity assume that the gods (or God) have power, but also that they can be manipulated. That is the core of animism and some other religions: there are powers in the world that can cause harm or good, and humans must appease their anger and attract their good will. The purpose of their worship and sacrifices is getting the gods to do what they want them to do.

And, of course, we sometimes see Christians doing this. We may have done it ourselves, promising things to God if he’ll do what we want him to do. We see it in the Bible as well, as in the story of Jepthah and his daughter in Judges 11. Jepthah promises God that if given victory over the Ammonites he will sacrifice the first thing that comes out of his house on his return. He does receive the victory that God desired to give him, but pays a heavy price when he is met by his daughter upon his return.

When we look at the prayers of those who are praised for their relationship with God, we don’t find this kind of bargaining and attempt at manipulation. It’s not that they don’t want things from God: they certainly do. However, their approach is not one of bargaining or manipulation but one of honest appeal based on their relationship with God and understanding of his character. We see Moses appealing to God’s character and reputation several times as he intercedes for the Israelites. We see David appealing to God’s character as well.

Have mercy on me, O God,
    according to your steadfast love;
according to your abundant mercy
    blot out my transgressions.

Psalm 51:1 ESV

David acknowledges that he can’t actually do anything to make his failures right. He does make promises, but they are promises that flow from a changed heart, not some kind of quid pro quo.

Deliver me from bloodguiltiness, O God,
    O God of my salvation,
    and my tongue will sing aloud of your righteousness.
O Lord, open my lips,
    and my mouth will declare your praise.
For you will not delight in sacrifice, or I would give it;
    you will not be pleased with a burnt offering.
The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit;
    a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.

Psalm 51:14-17 ESV

Some people look at the whole sacrificial system as an attempt to manipulate God, but we have to be careful to understand the point. God requires a blood sacrifice to wash away sin, but the sacrifices provided by men were never sufficient for that purpose. The perfect sacrifice that was adequate to achieve the purpose was provided by God himself: was God himself.

Here is our reality: God doesn’t need us. We can’t manipulate him. He actually sees our motives and cares about our hearts and how our actions reflect the reality of our thinking. Actions that are focused on getting him to do what we want are pointless.

Yet this self-sufficient, all-powerful, and all-knowing God somehow loves us enough that he made us, chose us, and sacrificed for us. He offers us the opportunity to have a relationship with him. He listens and responds to our petitions out of his love for us, not because of anything that we have ever done or could ever do for him. No fantasy novelist has ever come up with a concept of deity that comes close to matching the amazing reality of the one true God.

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I know several people for whom this time of Covid-19 has been very difficult. They are extroverts and desperately missed spending time with other people. As we have all learned, video chat is just not the same. 

In my household, the reaction was a little different. We’re both very strong introverts, and being required to stay away from other humans was somewhat welcome, at least for a while. We’ve also managed to grow closer, talk more, and generally spend more quality time together, overall, despite the challenges of both working from the house and having limited opportunities to spend time alone.

Nevertheless, I found myself eager to get out and about after we were fully vaccinated and our state began to open up. Over the last few weeks, I’ve had the chance to get together with four of my local friends.

Those four conversations had some strong similarities. In each case, we were eager to get together to just sit down and talk for a while. All four ended when one of us had to be somewhere else; we were far from being out of things to say. 

There were also some differences. With two of these people, I share a lot of interests and experiences related to my career. I can talk with them about my classes and other aspects of the university in much more detail than I can with most people. We’re also all grandmothers, so there are always points of connection there. 

With the other two friends, the points of connection are less obvious and not as much grounded in our professions and families. The connections, however, are also far deeper. You see, these two people are believers, and our relationship and the things we talk about are rooted in our shared faith. With the first two, I look for opportunities to share Christ and my story of walking with Christ, but those topics are challenging to raise at all. A conversation with either of the other two almost always includes some discussion of our struggles, our victories, our desire to walk with our Lord.

As human beings, we need other people. We were created to be in relationships with others. God makes that point in Genesis 2:18 before he creates Eve. This need goes beyond just the need to meet with other Christians in some sort of church setting. We need people in our lives whom we can trust deeply and who will tell us the truth about ourselves.

A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.

Proverbs 18:24 ESV

Jonathan and David depict a strong example of that kind of friendship. In 1 Samuel 20, we see Jonathan helping David to escape from Saul, Jonathan’s own father. Their relationship is grounded in more than just human friendship, as evidenced by Jonathan’s words as they separate:

Then Jonathan said to David, “Go in peace, because we have sworn both of us in the name of the Lord, saying, ‘The Lord shall be between me and you, and between my offspring and your offspring, forever.’” And he rose and departed, and Jonathan went into the city.

1 Samuel 20:42 ESV

Later, after all of the running and fighting that ensues, including Jonathan’s death, we see David remember their friendship after he has become king of all Israel.

And Mephibosheth the son of Jonathan, son of Saul, came to David and fell on his face and paid homage. And David said, “Mephibosheth!” And he answered, “Behold, I am your servant.” And David said to him, “Do not fear, for I will show you kindness for the sake of your father Jonathan, and I will restore to you all the land of Saul your father, and you shall eat at my table always.”

2 Samuel 9:6-7 ESV

We see other friendships in the Bible. For example, we see Paul develop friendships with Barnabas (who is willing to tell him that he is wrong about John Mark) as well as with Priscilla and Aquila. Perhaps the most important example, however, is that of Jesus.

Jesus gathered crowds of listeners and a smaller crowd of followers. We know that he hand-picked twelve men as his primary disciples, but we also see that he chose three of the twelve to spend more time with: Peter, James, and John. Even our Lord chose a few of his followers to be those close friends.

There is much to be gained from getting together with groups of believers. There is also much to be gained from any friend with whom we share interests and concerns, but the value of a close friend who shares our faith and values cannot be overestimated.

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“God is love.”

We find that statement in the Bible, specifically in 1 John 4:8, but what does it mean?

We’ve all heard the question: “If God is love, how could . . . ?” I’ve certainly asked some form of that question at times, and I expect you may have as well.

Our world interprets this concept to mean that God’s children will all be happy and healthy and that “good people” can’t really be going to hell, that God will make everything good and happy in the end.

In my Bible memorization efforts, I have recently been working on learning parts of 1 John. The focus of this book is God’s love for us and our relationship with him.

With this focus on love, it’s easy to find other “feel-good” verses in addition to that statement that God himself is love:

See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are.

1 John 3:1a ESV

So we have come to know and to believe the love that God has for us. God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him. By this is love perfected with us, so that we may have confidence for the day of judgment, because as he is so also are we in this world. There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love. We love because he first loved us.

1 John 4:16-19 ESV

I write these things to you who believe in the name of the Son of God, that you may know that you have eternal life. And this is the confidence that we have toward him, that if we ask anything according to his will he hears us. And if we know that he hears us in whatever we ask, we know that we have the requests that we have asked of him.

1 John 5:13-15 ESV

Beautiful, amazing, comforting words. But incomplete in and of themselves.

1 John is not just about God’s love for us and what we get out of it. It’s also about our side of the relationship. We must not latch onto the phrase “God is love” and miss the first part of the verse.

Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love.

1 John 4:8 ESV

The point here is our response to God’s character, the reflection of his love in our lives.

Too often, our concept of God’s love is self-centered. We buy into the world’s notion of God’s love. We think something like, “God loves me. His very essence is love. Surely he wants me to be happy and to have the things I want.” 

Throughout John’s discussion of God’s love in this letter, he reminds us that we must follow in obedience before we can experience many of the benefits of being loved by God. Yes, he loved us first, so much that Jesus died for us, sacrificed himself to wipe away our sin, but we must then respond.

We love because he first loved us. If anyone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen. And this commandment we have from him: whoever loves God must also love his brother. Everyone who believes that Jesus is the Christ has been born of God, and everyone who loves the Father loves whoever has been born of him. By this we know that we love the children of God, when we love God and obey his commandments. For this is the love of God, that we keep his commandments. And his commandments are not burdensome.

1 John 4:19-5:3 ESV

John doesn’t explicitly remind us here that God is just and righteous as well as loving. However, he does remind us that the benefits of God’s love and sacrifice are only for those who do love God and keep his commandments. This must include showing love to other humans as well as to God himself.

We live in a world where hatred for other people is all too common. Even within churches we see battle lines drawn over many things that truly don’t matter. Yet John tells us that if we love God we must love our brothers.

How would our churches, our nation, and our world change if we all worked to obey this commandment and reflect God’s love in our relationship with all of our fellow believers?

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I’ve attended a few churches in my life. I can count 15 that I’ve either been a member of or attended regularly with my parents and have clear memories of. There are quite a few more that I have visited over the years. One thing that is true of all of them is that they weren’t perfect. 

In one, the music was not well done. In another, the preacher was not a particularly good speaker. Yet another sang a song that I thought was questionable theologically. This other preacher spoke well, but I don’t think the scripture he used actually supported his point (or that any scripture that comes to mind would support that point). I could, of course, go on and on with complaints. Some of them would be about unimportant things, grounded only in my opinion. Others would be about serious theological issues or instances of hypocrisy. Whatever the issues, I guarantee that no church you or I ever set foot in will be perfect.

What then? 

Maybe we should just give up on this whole church thing. I certainly know quite a few Christians who have done exactly that, and I will admit to being tempted on occasion. However, if we seek to follow New Testament teachings, that’s just not an option.

For as in one body we have many members, and the members do not all have the same function, so we, though many, are one body in Christ, and individually members one of another. Having gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, let us use them:

Romans 12:4-6a

It’s difficult for all of these different people to be one body, serving and supporting each other, if they are disconnected. Paul tells us that the purpose of our gifts is to serve one another, not for our own benefit. We cannot exercise our gifts as intended outside of a community of believers.

The teaching goes further than that. The author of Hebrews makes it quite clear that abandoning church is not the right option.

And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.

Hebrews 10:24-25

Maybe we just need to do church differently. I regularly hear of people who are trying to recreate church in various ways. The motives here can be excellent, and the results can be God-honoring, as they seek to draw people into the church and strengthen those in it. I most often hear that the goal is to make things more like the “New Testament church,” because of all that God accomplished then.

But I want to let you in on a little secret: the New Testament church was not perfect. If it had been, a large portion of the New Testament wouldn’t exist. All those letters provide correction and guidance to various 1st-century churches, which wouldn’t have been needed.

God actually doesn’t expect churches to be perfect. He only expects the people in them to grow toward perfection. We are supposed to be getting to know Christ better and becoming more like him. In the church, we are supposed to be helping one another toward that goal of Christlikeness. What we’re not supposed to do is to expect any of the people around us to have actually achieved perfection.

In the middle of Paul’s description of the church in Colossians 3, he says,

Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.

Colossians 3:12-13

A perfect church wouldn’t require patience or “bearing with one another.” The church is made up of people–mostly people who are sincerely trying to follow God, but imperfect people nonetheless.

As we do this church thing, we need to acknowledge that we also are not yet perfected. Remember Paul’s instructions as we interact with our fellow imperfect Christ-followers. Then in that gathering, we will find the greatest purpose of the church:

For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them.

Matthew 18:20

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When I first planned to write a blog entry with this title a few weeks ago, my life was in the middle of chaos. My younger son was in the hospital. I had too many commitments and too many things that I planned to do but hadn’t gotten done. It felt like life was spinning out of control, but I knew, even as I struggled, even as I failed to make the time to sit down and write about it, that there is a rock.

You keep him in perfect peace
    whose mind is stayed on you,
    because he trusts in you.
Trust in the Lord forever,
    for the Lord God is an everlasting rock.

Isaiah 26:3-4

I was struggling with that trust and not quite staying in that perfect peace. Somehow it always seems harder to deal with challenges facing my children than the challenges I personally face. But God is merciful and compassionate: he held me through those struggles. While I still have way too many things on my plate, especially since I don’t teach in the summer, many things are better. I can feel the stable footing underneath me rather than just clinging to the promise that it’s there.

I worked on finding the time to get back to my writing and started to think about other topics since this one was no longer immediately relevant to my life.

But then . . . 

I woke up one morning to news of a building collapse: 12 stories of condos just demolished. Hundreds of people’s lives have been suddenly thrown into a chaos that puts my personal struggles into perspective.

The news has become full of stories. The story of the 10-year-old boy who woke trapped and terrified and was rescued along with that of the neighbor who helped find and save him. Stories of the missing from worried and grieving families. Stories of those who survived and must now figure out how and where to go on living.

We watch in horror and sorrow. We pray, but too often our prayers are nothing more than cries of “Why?”

As I write this, we don’t have all of the human answers as to why, and we certainly don’t have any answers as to why God allowed it to happen. I do, however, see a lesson for all of us in the aftermath.

As I watch the various people personally affected by the tragedy, I see two responses. Some are anxious for news but express confidence that the search and rescue teams are working hard and doing the best they can to find any survivors who might be in the rubble. Others are simply impatient and express certainty that they could do better, that the search and rescue teams are not moving as quickly as they could and should be.

Isn’t that a supremely human reaction? Aren’t we often convinced that we could do things better and faster?

Yet the reality is that those working on the pile of rubble are well-trained and are still taking risks. The evidence we have is that they are, in fact, doing the best they can, however tempting it is to believe otherwise and to encourage them to hurry.

We do the same thing with God in circumstances like these and many others. Our prayers sometimes turn into instructions rather than petitions. We blame God for not moving fast enough, for not doing things the “right” way (our way).

God is smarter than we are. He understands the bigger pictures. It isn’t easy to wait. It isn’t easy to accept that our way isn’t the best way. It isn’t easy to trust. But that’s what we need to do. We have to trust that the rock is solid, even when it doesn’t feel that way.

For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
    neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord.
For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
    so are my ways higher than your ways
    and my thoughts than your thoughts.

Isaiah 55:8-9

you whom I took from the ends of the earth,
    and called from its farthest corners,
saying to you, “You are my servant,
    I have chosen you and not cast you off”;
fear not, for I am with you;
    be not dismayed, for I am your God;
I will strengthen you, I will help you,
    I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Isaiah 41:9-10

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We’ve grown tired, as individuals, as a nation, as a world. Tired of less activity. Tired of less togetherness. Tired of trying to do the right things to keep everybody safe. Tired of hearing bad news, whether about the virus, about injustice, about politics.

As I rejoice in the new-found freedom of being fully vaccinated and seeing the numbers in my little corner of the world and my country trend in the right direction, I watch what’s happening elsewhere, especially in India, with horror but also with a numbness that is almost acceptance that things are just bad.

My husband and I have been blessed with jobs that were safe in the pandemic, leaving our finances in good shape. Early in the pandemic, we were eager to help others whose situations were not secure. We looked for opportunities to give to help people in our community who were negatively impacted by the pandemic. For the first several months, we made it a point to do that extra giving each month.

Time passed, and we grew tired, not of the giving so much as of the circumstances. We realized that we had stopped doing the extra giving, not because we decided to quit but because we forgot. At that point, we did go back and give more, but we had skipped a few months in our weariness.

I think this is a common occurrence when we set out to do something good. We’re not usually in the midst of a global pandemic, but we are usually trying to help with problems that are not going to be fixed overnight. Concern and enthusiasm are enough to get us started, but often not enough to keep us motivated, especially when we don’t see quick results.

God knows that about us. He knows that our nature prompts us to do things for ourselves, not for others: that we are prone to give up when our efforts to help others do not produce quick and dramatic results. Thus we have the admonition:

For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life. And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up. So then, as we have opportunity, let us do good to everyone, and especially to those who are of the household of faith.

Galatians 6:8-10

As we do our part to help the world get normal and walk with God day-by-day, let’s work to follow this admonition. Let’s keep our eyes open for those chances to do good for our neighbors, our coworkers, and especially for our brothers and sisters in Christ. Let’s fight the natural exhaustion that creeps in as we demonstrate God’s love and remember to look forward to the promised harvest.

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Sometimes life is hard. Sometimes it just stays hard for a long, long time. I was chatting with a friend of mine the other day, and she mentioned some issues her daughter was going through. Now this young woman has been through a lot in her life. She was born with club feet and dealt with multiple operations and a great deal of pain as she grew up.

This is an exemplary young woman in many ways, a hard-working young mother who is deeply devoted to the Lord.

My reaction to my friend’s information was to say that her daughter “did not need more to deal with.”

My friend responded, “No she didn’t in our eyes. But we trust the Lord’s view on her life.”

My friend was right, of course. And I knew that, but as we walk day by day it can be easy to look at pain and suffering from a human perspective. I had to stop and adjust my thinking.

This kind of thing has been very close to me lately. My father has been dealing with issues of pain and numbness in his face for several years. Doctors have tried various treatments with varying success, but nothing has eliminated the problem. In March of this year, the pain became much more acute, and he began to develop other issues impacting his ability to use his right eye.

Because of the greater problems, the doctors have become more serious about trying to find the solution, but it has not been an easy road. Imaging has revealed a cause of the problems, but it is positioned so that it cannot be reached surgically without major, risky surgery, which the doctors want to avoid if at all possible.

At times doctors have thought they had the answer but turned out to be wrong. We now think we have the answer, but it is a probable answer, not a certain one, and we’re all reluctant to depend on the end being in sight. And, if this is the answer, there is a fair bit of pain and suffering yet to come in the process of treatment, though the good news is that treatment is possible and likely to be effective.

In this story, again the natural response is “why?” This is a man who has devoted most of his adult life to serving God. Although he finally retired, there are books to write and classes to teach. It seems obvious from our human perspective that he should be going on with his active service, free from debilitating pain.

I could tell other stories, and there are many others that I know nothing about. This is a tale told again and again, from the beginnings of the Christian faith.

Paul speaks of his own extended struggle. We don’t know what his thorn in the flesh was, but we do know that he didn’t like it. He says, “Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me” (2 Corinthians 12:8 ESV). We also know that God didn’t take it away.

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

2 Corinthians 12:9 ESV

When we think about grace, we often think it’s about what makes us feel good, that it’s about getting what we humans believe we need or want. Instead, grace is about what God knows that we need, what God desires for us.

Grace may be about living through pain and suffering with a joy that encourages others. Grace may be about going through chemotherapy and meeting others who are suffering without Christ and introducing them to him. Grace may be about surviving unthinkable abuse without losing faith and becoming a source of help and hope for others.

And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.

Romans 8:28 ESV

We read that verse and cling to it in confidence that things will get better. They will, of course, in heaven if not before. We need to understand that the good here is not about comfort or wants or lack of pain. It is about God’s view of good. When we quote this verse, we often lose sight of its context.

Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God. And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers.

Romans 8:26-29 ESV

This passage is full of comfort. The Holy Spirit himself intercedes when we don’t know what to pray. Sometimes that’s because we are without words because of pain or sorrow or shock. Sometimes it’s because we’ve got it wrong and we’re praying for the wrong things out of our human wisdom. The Spirit will pray not for what we want but for what the will of God says we need. It is in that context of the Spirit praying for us, according to the will of God, that we find assurance that everything is working for good. Then, we get further clarity about that good in the following verse. At least part of the good is becoming Christlike.

This is grace, for this is what we can never achieve on our own.

I don’t know why my father or my friend’s daughter are suffering. I don’t know how long the suffering will last or what will come of it. I do know that God’s grace can and will work in their lives to bring good from the suffering, as it will for any who choose to trust him. God will not leave us in our pain. He loves us and will never abandon us.

No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Romans 8:37-39 ESV

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One of the great blessings of being a child of missionaries in my denomination is the extended family that one automatically joins when arriving on the mission field. This is especially true for those of us who ended up in a particularly large group of missionaries, as my family did. There were suddenly over a hundred people who were to be called “aunt” or “uncle” plus dozens of courtesy cousins of varying ages. It was a bit overwhelming when I was 10 years old and first walked into that situation, but ultimately many of these people became closer than most of my relatives by blood. 

As we age, a natural consequence of having a large family is that we begin to lose family members. My first family funeral was that of a great-great-grandmother when I was eight (my family might have married and had children quite young for several generations). Since then I’ve attended several for both my birth family and my missionary family.

Several weeks ago, I received word of another loss–another missionary uncle. Uncle Von loomed large in my life both literally and figuratively. So many images came immediately to mind from the serious to the hilarious, from daily life and family vacations and more recent reunions. As always when I think of Uncle Von, the first incident that came to my thoughts was the time my sister fell off the back of his Vespa because she refused to hold on to me.  She was fine. Why did we have 5 people on one Vespa scooter? Well, we were in Indonesia, and we wanted to get somewhere. I also think that we children may have actually wanted to ride on the scooter, though it’s hard to believe that now.

The biggest thing that came to mind was concern for Uncle Von’s family. While I respected him a great deal, he and I were never very close, mostly because of differing interests. On the other hand, after my parents, his wife was probably the strongest spiritual influence on my adolescence. Her loss, and that of his children, was where my heart went immediately.

I wanted to be there, but, of course, I could not. I’m in Illinois. They are in Oklahoma. We live in the time of COVID-19. Messages can be sent. Memorials can be made. Hugs are not an option.

I am grateful that, despite that limitation, I was able to at least watch the memorial service, and that service was a blessing in and of itself. It was a beautiful reminder of Uncle Von’s walk with God through his life and of the reality that we do “not grieve as others do who have no hope” (1 Thessalonians 4:13b ESV). The one who is gone is released from suffering and is with Christ.

Yet we do grieve. Uncle Von is not here. We on earth have lost him for now.

Watching the memorial service brought to mind a song that I have come to love. I believe it beautifully captures the reality of Christian death, the intermingling of grief for now and hope for the future. In part, it says,

It isn’t easy to say goodbye
But I know it’s only for a little while
Run up ahead and I will catch up
‘Cause I’m gonna see you when tomorrow comes
On the other side

“The Other Side” by Colton Dixon

Uncle Von is well and safe and out of pain with Jesus. Someday we will be, too. In the meantime, we must both grieve our loss and rest assured by the God of hope and love.

Photo by Liane Metzler on Unsplash

At one point, I had a student contact me the day before an exam to say that a close friend of his had passed away earlier in the week and that he would take the exam the next morning if he had to but he would really appreciate being allowed to take it a few days later.

There is no policy about the death of friends at my university. Family deaths, yes. Serious illness, yes. Religious observations, yes. This situation, no.

I had to decide how to handle the situation. I know faculty who would have made the student take the test at the planned time. I hope I would never have been one of them, but at this point in my life, there was really no question. You see, I know what it is to be the mother of a college student who has lost a close friend. I instantly saw the situation not only from the perspective of the policy-following professor concerned about fairness, but also from the perspective of a mother who knows the trauma of such a loss and how it can impact a student’s ability to function.

As humans and as Christ-followers, it is valuable for us to see things from the perspectives of others. When we understand other people’s values and experiences, we can minister to their needs more effectively, better recognizing what is helpful, and what is insulting, and what is enabling patterns of poor choices. We can share the gospel with them in more understandable ways. 

Jesus demonstrates this in his interactions with people, diving to the heart of the problem of the rich young ruler’s love of his wealth (Mark 10:17-31), weeping with Mary over the death of Lazarus (John 11:28-37). Even his first miracle of turning water to wine is evidence that he takes others’ perspectives into mind, since he performs the miracle even after telling his mother that it was not his time (John 2:1-10).

Paul demonstrates the adjustment of the gospel presentation in his letters, which speak to the different needs of the churches who receive them. We also see that he speaks very differently to the Athenians at the Areopagus (Acts 17:16-34) than he does to King Agrippa, who has an understanding of and belief in Scripture (Acts 26).

We also need to seek to understand the perspectives of those around us, to ask why they think and act as they do, to shape our presentation of truth and aid to reach people where they are.

Even more than recognizing and understanding the perspectives of the people around us, however, we need to seek to recognize, understand, and adopt God’s perspective on pretty much everything.

We are prone to see the world from a very self-centered place: how will this situation change my life? How does this change increase or decrease my taxes? I’m uncomfortable talking to strangers, so why should I do that?

God makes it very clear that our perspectives are not his:

For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
    neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord.
For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
    so are my ways higher than your ways
    and my thoughts than your thoughts.

Isaiah 55:8-9 ESV

As Christians, we are called to do better, to allow God to adjust our thinking, to leave behind our self-centered perspectives. Part of the new life is supposed to include new ways of thinking.

Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.

Romans 12:2 ESV

The natural person does not accept the things of the Spirit of God, for they are folly to him, and he is not able to understand them because they are spiritually discerned. The spiritual person judges all things, but is himself to be judged by no one. “For who has understood the mind of the Lord so as to instruct him?” But we have the mind of Christ.

1 Corinthians 2:13-16 ESV

How do we do that? Much as we do it with other humans. We have to spend time with them. We must also spend time with God. We must learn about other people’s values in order to understand their actions. We must learn about God’s values. We must read and know the stories that God has given us that tell of his actions in regard to the world and to his people, both Israelites and Christians.

We must, in fact, do exactly what we are repeatedly called to do: study and meditate on the Bible, which is our record of God’s values, instructions, and actions. Then we must work to consistently adopt those values as our own and follow those instructions. 

As our own values and actions become reflections of his, we can more effectively communicate them with others. As we adjust our personal perspective to match God’s, we will find it easier and easier to also recognize and respond appropriately to the perspectives of other humans, just as God does.

As followers of Christ, we have amazing freedom. That is a truth that echoes through the New Testament.

So Jesus said to the Jews who had believed him, “If you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples, and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”

John 8:21-32 ESV

For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery. Galatians 5:1 ESV

Galatians 5:1 ESV

Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.

2 Corinthians 3:17 ESV

We have been freed from sin, from lies, from the law.

We know that our freedom is not without limits. Paul spends much of the 6th chapter of Romans explaining that our liberty is not a license to do as we wish in regard to sin.

But thanks be to God, that you who were once slaves of sin have become obedient from the heart to the standard of teaching to which you were committed, 18 and, having been set free from sin, have become slaves of righteousness.

Romans 6:17-18 ESV

Peter makes the same point:

Live as people who are free, not using your freedom as a cover-up for evil, but living as servants of God.

1 Peter 2:16 ESV

This is a truth that most of us accept without difficulty. We struggle with sin at times, but we know that part of our response to God’s gift of freedom and life is supposed to be turning away from our sin, avoiding wrong-doing.

The question follows: what about things that aren’t sin? Are there limits to our freedom when sin is not involved?

No, and yes.

If what I wish to do is not sin, I am free to do it. However, there are times when I can and should limit my own freedom for the benefit of fellow Christians or for the benefit of unbelievers.

Paul uses the example of eating meat offered to idols to make this point regarding other believers. That example doesn’t make much sense to us today, with meat freely available in supermarkets and few worship practices that involve slaughtering animals. In Paul’s day, sacrificing animals was a common act of worship, not only in Judaism but also in the worship of various idols. Some of the meat from those sacrifices was then made available for people to eat.

Paul makes the point that if the believer’s intent in eating the meat is just to eat the meat and his or her attitude is one of thankfulness to God, there is no sin. There’s nothing wrong with the act of eating the meat itself. Not everyone could separate that act from their experiences of previous idol worship, however. 

Food will not commend us to God. We are no worse off if we do not eat, and no better off if we do. But take care that this right of yours does not somehow become a stumbling block to the weak. For if anyone sees you who have knowledge eating in an idol’s temple, will he not be encouraged, if his conscience is weak, to eat food offered to idols? And so by your knowledge this weak person is destroyed, the brother for whom Christ died. Thus, sinning against your brothers and wounding their conscience when it is weak, you sin against Christ. Therefore, if food makes my brother stumble, I will never eat meat, lest I make my brother stumble.

1 Corinthians 8:8-13 ESV

Paul says very bluntly that eating the meat in front of someone whose faith would be weakened by seeing it is wrong, is sin, even though eating the meat isn’t sin in and of itself.

If what we are doing may weaken the faith of another, we should limit our freedom and refrain from doing it, even if the thing itself is not wrong.

Paul also talks about limiting our freedom in relation to the conduct of gatherings of believers, saying that we should not simply say and do as we wish in our worship of God, but should consider the impact on other believers and on non-believers who might come into our gatherings. 

If, therefore, the whole church comes together and all speak in tongues, and outsiders or unbelievers enter, will they not say that you are out of your minds? But if all prophesy, and an unbeliever or outsider enters, he is convicted by all, he is called to account by all, the secrets of his heart are disclosed, and so, falling on his face, he will worship God and declare that God is really among you.

1 Corinthians 14:23-25 ESV

Paul speaks most about the impact of speaking in tongues because it is something that benefits the person doing the speaking and not those who don’t understand what is said. However, he also talks about the gathering time having order and purpose in general, so that it is to the benefit of all.

Clearly, nothing that Paul speaks of refraining from in 1 Corinthians 14 is a sin. It’s all about worshipping God using the spiritual gifts we’ve been given. At the same time, we must not abuse the freedom we have to the detriment of either our fellow believers or those who we should be seeking to lead to Christ.

Paul stated the general principle in regard to unbelievers quite clearly:

 For though I am free from all, I have made myself a servant to all, that I might win more of them.

1 Corinthians 9:19 ESV

As we revel in the freedom that we have in God, we also need to consider all of our actions. How do the things that we do each day impact those around us? Are we strengthening other believers? Are we demonstrating the character of God to everyone? Are we, instead, taking actions that lead non-believers to think that we don’t care about them?

Like Paul we must consider our actions in light of their impact on those around us. Our freedom is worth nothing next to the spiritual well-being of those around us.

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