I know several people for whom this time of Covid-19 has been very difficult. They are extroverts and desperately missed spending time with other people. As we have all learned, video chat is just not the same. 

In my household, the reaction was a little different. We’re both very strong introverts, and being required to stay away from other humans was somewhat welcome, at least for a while. We’ve also managed to grow closer, talk more, and generally spend more quality time together, overall, despite the challenges of both working from the house and having limited opportunities to spend time alone.

Nevertheless, I found myself eager to get out and about after we were fully vaccinated and our state began to open up. Over the last few weeks, I’ve had the chance to get together with four of my local friends.

Those four conversations had some strong similarities. In each case, we were eager to get together to just sit down and talk for a while. All four ended when one of us had to be somewhere else; we were far from being out of things to say. 

There were also some differences. With two of these people, I share a lot of interests and experiences related to my career. I can talk with them about my classes and other aspects of the university in much more detail than I can with most people. We’re also all grandmothers, so there are always points of connection there. 

With the other two friends, the points of connection are less obvious and not as much grounded in our professions and families. The connections, however, are also far deeper. You see, these two people are believers, and our relationship and the things we talk about are rooted in our shared faith. With the first two, I look for opportunities to share Christ and my story of walking with Christ, but those topics are challenging to raise at all. A conversation with either of the other two almost always includes some discussion of our struggles, our victories, our desire to walk with our Lord.

As human beings, we need other people. We were created to be in relationships with others. God makes that point in Genesis 2:18 before he creates Eve. This need goes beyond just the need to meet with other Christians in some sort of church setting. We need people in our lives whom we can trust deeply and who will tell us the truth about ourselves.

A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.

Proverbs 18:24 ESV

Jonathan and David depict a strong example of that kind of friendship. In 1 Samuel 20, we see Jonathan helping David to escape from Saul, Jonathan’s own father. Their relationship is grounded in more than just human friendship, as evidenced by Jonathan’s words as they separate:

Then Jonathan said to David, “Go in peace, because we have sworn both of us in the name of the Lord, saying, ‘The Lord shall be between me and you, and between my offspring and your offspring, forever.’” And he rose and departed, and Jonathan went into the city.

1 Samuel 20:42 ESV

Later, after all of the running and fighting that ensues, including Jonathan’s death, we see David remember their friendship after he has become king of all Israel.

And Mephibosheth the son of Jonathan, son of Saul, came to David and fell on his face and paid homage. And David said, “Mephibosheth!” And he answered, “Behold, I am your servant.” And David said to him, “Do not fear, for I will show you kindness for the sake of your father Jonathan, and I will restore to you all the land of Saul your father, and you shall eat at my table always.”

2 Samuel 9:6-7 ESV

We see other friendships in the Bible. For example, we see Paul develop friendships with Barnabas (who is willing to tell him that he is wrong about John Mark) as well as with Priscilla and Aquila. Perhaps the most important example, however, is that of Jesus.

Jesus gathered crowds of listeners and a smaller crowd of followers. We know that he hand-picked twelve men as his primary disciples, but we also see that he chose three of the twelve to spend more time with: Peter, James, and John. Even our Lord chose a few of his followers to be those close friends.

There is much to be gained from getting together with groups of believers. There is also much to be gained from any friend with whom we share interests and concerns, but the value of a close friend who shares our faith and values cannot be overestimated.

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“God is love.”

We find that statement in the Bible, specifically in 1 John 4:8, but what does it mean?

We’ve all heard the question: “If God is love, how could . . . ?” I’ve certainly asked some form of that question at times, and I expect you may have as well.

Our world interprets this concept to mean that God’s children will all be happy and healthy and that “good people” can’t really be going to hell, that God will make everything good and happy in the end.

In my Bible memorization efforts, I have recently been working on learning parts of 1 John. The focus of this book is God’s love for us and our relationship with him.

With this focus on love, it’s easy to find other “feel-good” verses in addition to that statement that God himself is love:

See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are.

1 John 3:1a ESV

So we have come to know and to believe the love that God has for us. God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him. By this is love perfected with us, so that we may have confidence for the day of judgment, because as he is so also are we in this world. There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love. We love because he first loved us.

1 John 4:16-19 ESV

I write these things to you who believe in the name of the Son of God, that you may know that you have eternal life. And this is the confidence that we have toward him, that if we ask anything according to his will he hears us. And if we know that he hears us in whatever we ask, we know that we have the requests that we have asked of him.

1 John 5:13-15 ESV

Beautiful, amazing, comforting words. But incomplete in and of themselves.

1 John is not just about God’s love for us and what we get out of it. It’s also about our side of the relationship. We must not latch onto the phrase “God is love” and miss the first part of the verse.

Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love.

1 John 4:8 ESV

The point here is our response to God’s character, the reflection of his love in our lives.

Too often, our concept of God’s love is self-centered. We buy into the world’s notion of God’s love. We think something like, “God loves me. His very essence is love. Surely he wants me to be happy and to have the things I want.” 

Throughout John’s discussion of God’s love in this letter, he reminds us that we must follow in obedience before we can experience many of the benefits of being loved by God. Yes, he loved us first, so much that Jesus died for us, sacrificed himself to wipe away our sin, but we must then respond.

We love because he first loved us. If anyone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen. And this commandment we have from him: whoever loves God must also love his brother. Everyone who believes that Jesus is the Christ has been born of God, and everyone who loves the Father loves whoever has been born of him. By this we know that we love the children of God, when we love God and obey his commandments. For this is the love of God, that we keep his commandments. And his commandments are not burdensome.

1 John 4:19-5:3 ESV

John doesn’t explicitly remind us here that God is just and righteous as well as loving. However, he does remind us that the benefits of God’s love and sacrifice are only for those who do love God and keep his commandments. This must include showing love to other humans as well as to God himself.

We live in a world where hatred for other people is all too common. Even within churches we see battle lines drawn over many things that truly don’t matter. Yet John tells us that if we love God we must love our brothers.

How would our churches, our nation, and our world change if we all worked to obey this commandment and reflect God’s love in our relationship with all of our fellow believers?

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I’ve attended a few churches in my life. I can count 15 that I’ve either been a member of or attended regularly with my parents and have clear memories of. There are quite a few more that I have visited over the years. One thing that is true of all of them is that they weren’t perfect. 

In one, the music was not well done. In another, the preacher was not a particularly good speaker. Yet another sang a song that I thought was questionable theologically. This other preacher spoke well, but I don’t think the scripture he used actually supported his point (or that any scripture that comes to mind would support that point). I could, of course, go on and on with complaints. Some of them would be about unimportant things, grounded only in my opinion. Others would be about serious theological issues or instances of hypocrisy. Whatever the issues, I guarantee that no church you or I ever set foot in will be perfect.

What then? 

Maybe we should just give up on this whole church thing. I certainly know quite a few Christians who have done exactly that, and I will admit to being tempted on occasion. However, if we seek to follow New Testament teachings, that’s just not an option.

For as in one body we have many members, and the members do not all have the same function, so we, though many, are one body in Christ, and individually members one of another. Having gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, let us use them:

Romans 12:4-6a

It’s difficult for all of these different people to be one body, serving and supporting each other, if they are disconnected. Paul tells us that the purpose of our gifts is to serve one another, not for our own benefit. We cannot exercise our gifts as intended outside of a community of believers.

The teaching goes further than that. The author of Hebrews makes it quite clear that abandoning church is not the right option.

And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.

Hebrews 10:24-25

Maybe we just need to do church differently. I regularly hear of people who are trying to recreate church in various ways. The motives here can be excellent, and the results can be God-honoring, as they seek to draw people into the church and strengthen those in it. I most often hear that the goal is to make things more like the “New Testament church,” because of all that God accomplished then.

But I want to let you in on a little secret: the New Testament church was not perfect. If it had been, a large portion of the New Testament wouldn’t exist. All those letters provide correction and guidance to various 1st-century churches, which wouldn’t have been needed.

God actually doesn’t expect churches to be perfect. He only expects the people in them to grow toward perfection. We are supposed to be getting to know Christ better and becoming more like him. In the church, we are supposed to be helping one another toward that goal of Christlikeness. What we’re not supposed to do is to expect any of the people around us to have actually achieved perfection.

In the middle of Paul’s description of the church in Colossians 3, he says,

Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.

Colossians 3:12-13

A perfect church wouldn’t require patience or “bearing with one another.” The church is made up of people–mostly people who are sincerely trying to follow God, but imperfect people nonetheless.

As we do this church thing, we need to acknowledge that we also are not yet perfected. Remember Paul’s instructions as we interact with our fellow imperfect Christ-followers. Then in that gathering, we will find the greatest purpose of the church:

For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them.

Matthew 18:20

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