Sometimes life is hard. Sometimes it just stays hard for a long, long time. I was chatting with a friend of mine the other day, and she mentioned some issues her daughter was going through. Now this young woman has been through a lot in her life. She was born with club feet and dealt with multiple operations and a great deal of pain as she grew up.

This is an exemplary young woman in many ways, a hard-working young mother who is deeply devoted to the Lord.

My reaction to my friend’s information was to say that her daughter “did not need more to deal with.”

My friend responded, “No she didn’t in our eyes. But we trust the Lord’s view on her life.”

My friend was right, of course. And I knew that, but as we walk day by day it can be easy to look at pain and suffering from a human perspective. I had to stop and adjust my thinking.

This kind of thing has been very close to me lately. My father has been dealing with issues of pain and numbness in his face for several years. Doctors have tried various treatments with varying success, but nothing has eliminated the problem. In March of this year, the pain became much more acute, and he began to develop other issues impacting his ability to use his right eye.

Because of the greater problems, the doctors have become more serious about trying to find the solution, but it has not been an easy road. Imaging has revealed a cause of the problems, but it is positioned so that it cannot be reached surgically without major, risky surgery, which the doctors want to avoid if at all possible.

At times doctors have thought they had the answer but turned out to be wrong. We now think we have the answer, but it is a probable answer, not a certain one, and we’re all reluctant to depend on the end being in sight. And, if this is the answer, there is a fair bit of pain and suffering yet to come in the process of treatment, though the good news is that treatment is possible and likely to be effective.

In this story, again the natural response is “why?” This is a man who has devoted most of his adult life to serving God. Although he finally retired, there are books to write and classes to teach. It seems obvious from our human perspective that he should be going on with his active service, free from debilitating pain.

I could tell other stories, and there are many others that I know nothing about. This is a tale told again and again, from the beginnings of the Christian faith.

Paul speaks of his own extended struggle. We don’t know what his thorn in the flesh was, but we do know that he didn’t like it. He says, “Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me” (2 Corinthians 12:8 ESV). We also know that God didn’t take it away.

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

2 Corinthians 12:9 ESV

When we think about grace, we often think it’s about what makes us feel good, that it’s about getting what we humans believe we need or want. Instead, grace is about what God knows that we need, what God desires for us.

Grace may be about living through pain and suffering with a joy that encourages others. Grace may be about going through chemotherapy and meeting others who are suffering without Christ and introducing them to him. Grace may be about surviving unthinkable abuse without losing faith and becoming a source of help and hope for others.

And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.

Romans 8:28 ESV

We read that verse and cling to it in confidence that things will get better. They will, of course, in heaven if not before. We need to understand that the good here is not about comfort or wants or lack of pain. It is about God’s view of good. When we quote this verse, we often lose sight of its context.

Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God. And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers.

Romans 8:26-29 ESV

This passage is full of comfort. The Holy Spirit himself intercedes when we don’t know what to pray. Sometimes that’s because we are without words because of pain or sorrow or shock. Sometimes it’s because we’ve got it wrong and we’re praying for the wrong things out of our human wisdom. The Spirit will pray not for what we want but for what the will of God says we need. It is in that context of the Spirit praying for us, according to the will of God, that we find assurance that everything is working for good. Then, we get further clarity about that good in the following verse. At least part of the good is becoming Christlike.

This is grace, for this is what we can never achieve on our own.

I don’t know why my father or my friend’s daughter are suffering. I don’t know how long the suffering will last or what will come of it. I do know that God’s grace can and will work in their lives to bring good from the suffering, as it will for any who choose to trust him. God will not leave us in our pain. He loves us and will never abandon us.

No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Romans 8:37-39 ESV

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