Over the years, I have sung in a number of different church choirs and praise teams. One constant across those experiences is the instruction to smile. Smile while you’re singing. Smile during the sermon. Be an example to the congregation; make sure they see you smiling.

There is some value to this instruction. It is good to be expressive when we are singing, whether in church or elsewhere. It’s probably not ideal to have a choir full of people frowning behind the pastor during the sermon.

At the same time, I have seen greater emphasis on these things in church contexts, and I think it’s part of the too common church culture that encourages Christians to present only the good to the world and to each other. We are supposed to always be joyful, so that means we should smile all the time, right?

Wrong!

I believe this is one of those areas where we have taken the Bible and over-simplified it, placing a burden on ourselves that God never intended for us to carry.

Certainly, God has called us to joy:

Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice. (Philippians 4:4 ESV)

Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 ESV)

Finally, brothers, rejoice. Aim for restoration, comfort one another, agree with one another, live in peace; and the God of love and peace will be with you. (2 Corinthians 13:11 ESV)

However, as we learn to rejoice in the Lord at all times, we need to remember that he never called us to a fake display of emotions, nor did he forbid us to mourn authentically. In 2 Cor. 13:11 quoted above, the instruction to “rejoice” is followed by “comfort one another.” If we’re all happy, why would any of us need comfort?Paul also told us, “Rejoice with those who rejoice; weep with those who weep” (Romans 12:15 ESV). Jesus himself did that in the well-known shortest verse as he wept with Mary over her brother’s tomb even though he knew that the grief would not last much longer. The joy that God brings us is not a denial of grief and pain, nor is it just a smile we put on our faces. It is found when God works through us to overcome the grief and pain of life in this world.

I believe that joy is a choice and a process. We have to choose to experience the joy God calls us to, not only by choosing to follow God in the first place, but also on a daily basis. We are told, “Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, knowing that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness” (James 1:2-3 ESV). This is not a matter of, “Oh, you’re a Christian now, so turn your trials into smiles.” Something that produces steadfastness (or perseverance or endurance) is not going to be fun or easy to go through. It’s going to be hard, even painful. James tells us to choose joy because we understand the outcome. Paul tells us to choose to rejoice in the Lord. 

The really good news is that joy is also a process. As we choose joy again and again, that joy becomes more natural. We learn that God does provide a peace and comfort that we cannot begin to understand. Paul says, “I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content” (Philippians 4:11 ESV). That didn’t happen overnight; we should not expect to feel our own joy and contentment instantly.

Life is hard, and there are many suffering right now. It doesn’t help to pretend to be something we are not. We are not called to put on a forced smile, but to make the authentic choice to trust God and rejoice in the outcome he will bring, showing compassion and empathy as we weep with those who weep.

Photo by Charles Etoroma on Unsplash