I love Facebook, and I hate it. I love it because of the connections it has enabled me to renew and maintain. I’ve lived in a number of different places, and I have friends and family literally around the world. Currently, I live near no one from my childhood. Aside from my husband, there is one person in town that I met in grad school. Without things like email and Facebook, I would live a life very disconnected from my past. Through electronic media, I’ve also come to know some friendly acquaintances from my childhood much better as we’ve discussed a wide variety of topics. Thus, I’m grateful for the technology that has helped me stay connected to people from other parts of my life and has facilitated closer relationships with some of those people.

At the same time, social media’s connections are not the same as face-to-face connections. People who are on the other side of conversations that occur only through text are easy to dehumanize. What I hate about Facebook (and other social media platforms) is the frequency with which I see people saying things that they would never say face-to-face, or at least would never say in quite that way.

It’s not necessary that even those who disagree be acrimonious in such a medium. I have two friends on Facebook with whom I fairly regularly engage in discussions regarding theological and political topics. Both are men whose intellect and thoughtfulness I respect. One shares many of my values and has theological views very similar to mine, but his political opinions include a few things I strongly disagree with. The other is someone whose theology and politics are both significantly different from mine.

What I have very much appreciated about both of these people as we have engaged in discussions, often through Facebook, is the degree of respect that they have shown to me by debating facts and opinions but never being rude to me or dismissive of my ideas. Both are also ready to acknowledge our shared values and faith.

I think that as Christ-followers we should recognize that God calls us to unity, but he doesn’t call us to all be the same person. I know people who seem to think that all who call themselves Christians should think exactly the same way on every topic. I see a couple of problems with that. 

First, none of us are perfected in Christ yet. Therefore, I am confident that some opinions of mine are wrong and that some opinions of yours are wrong and even that some opinions of the Bible teachers I most respect are wrong. James warned us, “For we all stumble in many ways. And if anyone does not stumble in what he says, he is a perfect man, able also to bridle his whole body” (James 3:2 ESV). Since none of us are perfect, we are prone to say wrong things.

Second, the Bible makes it very clear that we do not all have the same calling and gifting. That is much of Paul’s point in 1 Corinthians 12. Different gifts and purposes in life give us different perspectives. I have seen that in my marriage. My husband’s spiritual gifts are mercy and service. Mine are teaching and prophecy. These give us very different perspectives at times and have led to a few heated discussions. However, that difference and those discussions have led to improved character and behavior in me as he encourages me to be more careful of others’ hearts as I seek to communicate truth. 

God intends for us to discuss our disagreements, to influence each other toward character improvement. “Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another,” (Proverbs 27:17 ESV). However, we need to do that sharpening with grace, remembering that we are called to unity, as Paul reminds us:

I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. (Ephesians 4:1-3 ESV)

I would urge all who try to communicate spiritual truth on any form of social media to remember something I constantly have to remind myself of. Even if I am called to share or teach spiritual truth, it is not my job to change minds. Only the Holy Spirit will do that. My job is to share what I have been called to share, but to do so with love—not as a clanging cymbal, but with gentleness and humility. This is something I continue to work very hard at, but I am convinced that it is worth the effort.

I was blessed in my childhood to have parents who were willing to believe me when there was no external evidence for what I was complaining about. Around the time I was 9, I started occasionally experiencing extreme pain in the back of knees that would keep me awake. I remember nights when I know they were tired and frustrated, but they never questioned my pain and always worked to find ways to alleviate it, even though all the doctors ever said was “must be growing pains.”

They went through that experience again when I had severe headaches at age 13. It turned out that those were due to a (benign) bone tumor above my left eye, and the physical reality eventually became obvious. I’d wake up in not much pain with my eye nearly swollen shut. By bedtime, the swelling would be almost gone and the pain would be intense. However, my parents didn’t need the physical proof before they treated my pain as a real thing.

I’ve sometimes wondered why they never questioned the reality of my invisible ailments. I’ve never asked, and I think they may not know. I suspect that it was about their relationship with me and their trust in me. They knew I didn’t have a habit of complaining about pain. They couldn’t see physical evidence of the cause of the pain, but they could see the evidence of the pain in my behavior in each of the circumstances I’ve mentioned.

We have been asked to have this kind of relationship with and trust in Jesus. 

After his resurrection, Jesus had appeared to most of the disciples, but not to Thomas. While we fault Thomas for his reaction to the stories about Christ’s resurrection, he had some excuse to think that his friends had all lost their minds. Jesus came back from the dead; that’s hard to swallow. Importantly, Jesus doesn’t condemn Thomas. He shows the proof that it’s really him. After Thomas acknowledges Jesus as Lord and God, we see Christ’s response.

Jesus said to him, “Have you believed because you have seen me? Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.” (John 20:29 ESV)

To me, Jesus sounds a bit disappointed here. This is one of his disciples, a man who has been by his side and learning from him for most of his ministry. He failed to recognize the truth of the resurrection, the truth of who Jesus was, until he saw.

Yet, there is no condemnation. Jesus invites Thomas to look, and to do more than look; he invites Thomas to come to know him better. 

We shouldn’t be surprised that Jesus treats Thomas and his need to actually see Christ gently. We see God responding kindly to requests for assurance in the Old Testament as well. In Judges 6, we see Gideon asking God for a sign that he’s really been called to save the Israelites from their current oppressors. He leaves a fleece out on the ground at night and asks God to make it wet and every around it dry, and that happens. Then Gideon starts thinking about it and decides that that was too easy. “Then Gideon said to God, ‘Let not your anger burn against me; let me speak just once more. Please let me test just once more with the fleece. Please let it be dry on the fleece only, and on all the ground let there be dew’” (Judges 6:39 ESV). And God does it. The next morning, the fleece is dry and the ground is covered with dew.

Despite his graciousness with our need for certainty, God still wants to grow so that we don’t always need to see first. When the Israelites are fleeing Egypt, Moses holds out his staff and the Red Sea parts and only after the water is out of the way do the Israelites cross. But later on when the people go to cross the Jordan, the waters don’t part until after the priests step into the swollen river (Joshua 3:13-17). God expects Israel (or at least their leadership) to have learned to trust him during the forty years they have spent depending on him while wandering about in the wilderness.

We often take that last sentence Jesus speaks to Thomas, “Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed,” as an instruction to us and praise for us, as the people who have not seen Christ on earth. However, I think it’s more than that. I think Jesus is saying that those who come to know and trust him to the point that they do not need to see what he is doing in order to believe are inherently blessed.

If we know Jesus well enough, we do have joy in times of great sorrow and pain. If we understand God’s sovereignty and his love for us, we don’t despair when everything seems lost. The knowledge and trust that allow us to believe when we can’t see what God is doing are, in and of themselves, the blessing.

Of course, there’s no quick and easy solution to being able to believe what we can’t see. Relationships and trust are built over time. We can only take the time in prayer and Bible study and trust that God will reveal himself and his character to us over time, enabling us to become those who believe more and more, even when we can’t see.

 

Photo by Kristopher Roller on Unsplash

“Make wise choices today.” That’s something we get told by parents and teachers as we’re growing up. It’s also something the Bible advocates: “Blessed is the one who finds wisdom, and the one who gets understanding, for the gain from her is better than gain from silver and her profit better than gold. She is more precious than jewels, and nothing you desire can compare with her” (Proverbs 3:13-15 ESV).

But what do we mean by wisdom?

Too often, I think, we use a worldly version of wisdom, a practical kind of wisdom. We make decisions based on our understanding of how things work in the world, sometimes with selfish motives. From a human point of view, that’s a very sensible thing to do, but it’s not the kind of wisdom Proverbs 3 is talking about.

The problem with earthly wisdom is that it is broken, just as the world and humans in this world are broken. We can see this as we look at society and its flaws. Whatever systems of government or economy we come up with will always work imperfectly, however wisely we create them, because they are created and run by humans, who are inherently flawed and generally selfish. That’s the biggest problem with capitalism, socialism, monarchy, democracy–you name it.

James takes about wisdom, both the earthly version and God’s version:

Who is wise and understanding among you? By his good conduct let him show his works in the meekness of wisdom. But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast and be false to the truth. This is not the wisdom that comes down from above, but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic. For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every vile practice. But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere. And a harvest of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace. (James 3:13-18 ESV)

The description here of earthly wisdom is shocking. Demonic? And that’s not just the translation; the NIV, NASB, Holman, and NKJV all use that same word. Selfish wisdom is deplorable.

The description of heavenly wisdom is even more striking, however. I tend to think of wise decisions in terms of doing the right things and making the hard choices, even when they make people unhappy. This probably comes from having to make such decisions as an administrator. I think that is a necessary part of being wise, but the focus in this passage of James is not on that.

The description of the “wisdom from above” does begin with doing righteous things. This wisdom is “first pure.” It has to start there, because this is God’s wisdom. Walking in this wisdom can never mean doing wrong out of convenience or expedience. It must also do what is right.

Yet, too often as Christians we stop there. If we’re going to walk in God’s wisdom, we must pay attention to the rest of the verse.

• peaceable – How often do we confront in ways that cause conflict rather than leading toward conversation that might lend itself to positive progress? It is true that peace-making sometimes has to confront, but it must always do so in ways that lead toward resolution.
• gentle – This goes with the peaceable part. Are we gentle in how we do right? Do we consider the potential pain of others in our decisions? We must not do wrong to seem kind, but we must do right in ways that do not cause unnecessary harm.
• open to reason – This one is interesting. It’s particularly important for humans, because we all are fallible. We are not perfect, so we must be open to listen to reason. That doesn’t mean we change our beliefs just because others disagree, but it does mean that we genuinely listen and engage rationally with those who have other viewpoints. Some versions translate this phrase as submissive, compliant, or willing to yield, so it goes beyond just listening to possibly giving way to another.
• full of mercy – If we walk in God’s wisdom, we must do it with hearts of mercy, not hearts of judgment.
• full of good fruits – Godly wisdom will produce visible good effects in our lives and those of the people around us.
• impartial – This one is more obvious to me than some of the others, but it is a reminder that God’s wisdom is not selfish and does not favor those we have an emotional attachment to or trespass against those we dislike.
• sincere – God’s wisdom doesn’t fake it.

That’s quite a list. It’s the wisdom from above because we can’t possibly do this by ourselves, but we can work toward this ideal by walking with God daily, asking him to help us apply his wisdom in each of the decisions we must make.

What would it look like if every conversation we had, every decision we made, was characterized by this description of the wisdom from above? I can tell you that churches would stop having business meeting fights over the color of the carpet. More importantly, those we interact with would see the difference that walking closely with Christ can make.

 

Photo by Javier Allegue Barros on Unsplash