Over the years I have come to realize that my conviction that I usually know best is not necessarily a good thing. For example, as someone who is generally accounted a good teacher, I tend to think that people should teach the way I do. One of my responsibilities as an academic department chair was to observe professors in my department in the classroom and to provide feedback. I had a lot of suggestions for improvement for some of my faculty, especially some of the newer ones, but I had to be careful. Sometimes, they really were not doing it well and needed to do things more like I would. At other times, though, they were doing things differently, but in ways that were also effective. I had to remind myself that what matters is student learning, not whether the teacher does what I would. Besides, my way won’t work for everyone. Talking to a group of computer science students about gaming is a great way for me to establish rapport, but it only works because I actually do know the computer gaming world and play some of the same games. My approach would fail miserably for many of my colleagues.

As a department chair, it was my job to try to ensure that classes were taught well. However, I also find myself wanting to give advice when it really isn’t my business at all, whether it’s encouraging my successor to do things the way I did them or getting someone to fold the towels correctly. I know I’m not alone. Why do people care how other people hang their toilet paper? It’s their toilet paper in their house: let them hang it the way they want. But most of us are firmly convinced that we know which way is right, and we believe that everyone else should do it our way.

This tendency to want other people to do things our way shows up in our religion as well. When some event or Bible study or worship song has been especially meaningful to us, we think everyone should experience that in exactly the same way. In college, I had a Sunday School class that did a verse-by-verse study of James that was very meaningful to me, and I still feel like everyone should have that kind of experience with the book of James. But I’m wrong about that, because God made other people who respond differently and need different means to learn those lessons.

Of course, we don’t just want people to do things our way. Too often we want God to do it our way. We want him to treat us fairly, by which we often mean all the same. We want everyone’s uncle with cancer to be healed. We don’t understand why that woman is well-off while her sister struggles to make ends meet.

But Christianity is not supposed to be a cookie cutter religion where everyone has the exact same experience.

Jesus addresses this issue a couple of times. In Matthew 20, he tells a story about the vintner who needs workers and hires some people in the morning, agreeing to pay them each a denarius, which was a standard day’s wage at the time. Those people work, but more are wanted and the owner hires additional workers at various points throughout the day, including some who work just one hour. There is no agreement made with all of these additional laborers. When the end of the day comes, the workers are paid starting with those who worked the least, and everyone receives a full denarius. This is not okay with the ones who had actually made an agreement to work all day for the denarius.

Now when those hired first came, they thought they would receive more, but each of them also received a denarius. And on receiving it they grumbled at the master of the house, saying, ‘These last worked only one hour, and you have made them equal to us who have borne the burden of the day and the scorching heat.’ But he replied to one of them, ‘Friend, I am doing you no wrong. Did you not agree with me for a denarius? Take what belongs to you and go. I choose to give to this last worker as I give to you. Am I not allowed to do what I choose with what belongs to me? Or do you begrudge my generosity?’ (Matthew 20:10-15 ESV)

I think Jesus is trying to make it clear that what God chooses to do with and for someone else is really none of my concern.

He makes a similar point after foretelling the manner of Peter’s death. 

When Peter saw [John], he said to Jesus, Lord, what about this man?” Jesus said to him, “If it is my will that he remain until I come, what is that to you? You follow me!” (John 21:21-22 ESV)

Jesus is not interested in explaining his work in someone else’s life to me. He is interested in my obedience and in giving me all the experiences I need for growth. I should share my experiences with others, so that God can use them in their lives, but I should not be surprised or disappointed when God works differently in their lives than he does in mine.

 

Image by  Kevin Phillips from Pixabay